Pushing Past Fear of Falling 103 Stories in the Air
If I died, it would be in an interesting way; I’d probably be an urban legend, and maybe the ghost of a famous building.
I did something that scares me. I mean scares me like I need to take a pill scares me. The glass floor Skydeck at Willis Tower/ aka Sears Tower / aka once the world's tallest building.
It’s embarrassing because you probably don’t think it’s a big deal. But I do, standing on a glass floor, in a glass box, 1,353 feet in the air.
I ended up on the 103 floor of the Willis Tower in Chicago through a “Yoga in the Sky” event. I’d recently been to the Space Needle in Seattle and was too afraid to stand the revolving glass floor there.
At first, I decided it was just something I can’t do, and that’s OK, I thought. Everybody has their things, right? But there was an annoying voice inside of me name-calling and ridiculing my cowardness.
The universe decides
A week later, I saw a flyer for a class at the Skydeck at a yoga studio. The picture was of a woman standing in the glass box.
“Nope,” I immediately thought. Days passed and that voice stayed in the back of my mind. I needed it to get the hell out. I signed up for the class.
What’s the worst thing that can happen?
Whenever I’m afraid, I ask myself, “What’s the worst thing that can happen?” and then, “What’s the best thing that could happen?” In this case, I decided the worst thing was that the glass would break and I would fall to my death.
The best thing was that I’d gain confidence and push myself out of my comfort zone, thereby enabling me to achieve more in the future. And, if I did die, it would be in an interesting way; I’d probably be an urban legend, and maybe the ghost of a famous building.
He has not learned the lesson of life who does not every day surmount a fear. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
We all have fears — some different, many the same. We fear change, even when we think we don’t. We’re afraid of loss and embarrassment and failure. We fear basic things like spiders or standing on a glass floor.
It’s the joy of life to conquer these fears and persist, survive, maybe even thrive.
The other side of fear
Some of the best things in my life have happened on the other side of fear. New jobs, having a child, going back to school, moving to a new city, riding in a helicopter, climbing a volcano, writing embarrassing stuff about myself … they’ve given me the power to believe in myself and my ability.
In those situations, I didn’t want to let go of my fear and go out “onto the glass,” but I did. I know with 1000% certainty that we are better, wiser, stronger, and more confident every time we push past perceived limits. That’s why I needed to stand on that glass floor.
To the Skydeck
You have to take multiple elevators up to the Skydeck at Willis Tower. This is your first sign that something unusual is occurring. Your ears pop like you’re on an airplane.
It was a foggy morning, so outside of the windows, all I could see was white instead of seeing the city. It was like being in a cloud, or maybe I was already dead from the panic attack I’d had earlier.
I stood off to the back and watched the other women pose in the boxes, do handstands, lay down with their legs up the wall, dance, jump. “Oh, NO.”
One of the yoga instructors asked if I wanted to give it a try. “I’m scared,” I admitted. I told her about the Space Needle. She looked worried for me. She probably wasn’t prepared for a therapy session.
A few of the women gave encouragement and slowly, slowly, slowly, I backed up onto the glass. They talked me into doing poses and before you knew it, I was barely scared at all.
The scariest thing
I also tried kombucha while I was there. It reminded me of when my eldest brother pissed in a Mountain Dew bottle and, later, my youngest brother accidentally drank it. I mean, I imagine that what it was like. Our reactions were surely the same.
Kombucha is something you should fear. It’s like pure vinegar. Just awful. It’s also carbonated, so don’t shake it up like I did because it stinks to high heaven on your yoga clothes.
Don’t fear to fail, fear not even trying
Standing on that glass was nothing. It was nothing, but I was everything. I was braver than I had been. I didn’t know when or how I’d be able to apply this new bravery for standing on glass floors, but I know I will.
I’m a different person now. I kid, but only a little. Doing this small thing reminded me that we are infinitely capable of doing great things, too, one small bit at a time. Don’t fear to fail; fear not even trying.
